The man at the pool of Bethesda was paralyzed for 38 years. That means he probably had never been trained in a trade or had proper schooling. So when Jesus asked him if he wanted to be healed, it was almost like He was asking him to “count the cost.”
In Jewish culture at that time, begging was a profession for people who could not work. They had to have a legitimate reason such as paralysis, blindness, or lameness to actually be a beggar, but the Jewish people would gladly be gracious with what they had to help provide for these men and women.
So if Jesus healed this man, he would no longer be allowed to beg. He would have to find a way to provide for himself. He would ultimately have to figure out a new way of life. Some people do not want to be healed. They are content with how their life is. They have gotten comfortable and know how to use whatever ails them to their advantage.
This is what Jesus asks us at salvation. Do we want to be healed? Do we want to be saved? Have we counted the cost? Its a free gift He wants to give us. But when we walk in relationship with Jesus, we will have a completely new life. The world will not understand. Our friends and family will not understand. We will lose alot, HOWEVER, we will gain everything. Every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord.
Most people in my area know who I am. But for those of you not from around here, my name is Stephanie Smith. I started this blog about 3 years ago and was beginning to get pretty consistent with my posting, until that fateful day. I’ll explain that a little further down, but I’ve been off of here for over a year now. God spoke into my heart to begin writing again just recently. I love to write! Writing comes easier to me than even speaking. So, here is the story of the most terrible week of my life, to catch you up to speed.
My brother was a state trooper who died from injuries sustained while on duty, and its been a heavy heart ache since then…
George was a stubborn, goal oriented man. Every goal he set, he conquered. He planned out his path and then worked with everything in him to achieve it. From joining the Marines at the age of eightteen, to becoming a cop in a small town, all the way to becoming a state trooper! He was my hero.
From the moment we heard of George’s accident, we prayed hard for a miraculous healing. I gathered my trusted prayer warriors and we stormed the gates of Heaven all day, every day. I laid hands and prayed over him, I laid hands on his wife and prayed strength and comfort over her, then I would go to my spiritual leaders and let them lay hands on me. There was such a huge move of God during that time!
I had such a huge hope and expectation that George would get out of that bed, that I would almost laugh at the doctors telling us that there was no hope. I was so expectant, that I sat by his bedside an entire day, waiting for him to wake up and look at me. I knew he would not only wake up, he would walk out of the hospital, broken bones restored! It was deeply embedded in me. My faith soared!
Everyday, the news grew worse and worse. From there is no hope, to second and third doctors telling us the same thing. Before my brother had even passed, I got on social media to be bombarded with ‘RIP” posts made about him. This is how dire the situation had become. But God is always up to something good. Even when our circumstances are bad.
You see, my brothers injuries were only in his brain, brain stem and ankle. He had led an outstanding life and remained healthy. He was a prime organ donor. Even able to donate two perfect lungs! (which doesn’t happen often) so we made the hard decision to set him up for organ donation. He had donated his life already to keeping people safe, might as well keep that going even in death.
My brother’s story doesn’t end in death though, it ends in life. He was able to directly save lives! On the day of our deep mourning and grief, others were celebrating answered prayers. We may have not received our miracle, but God revealed to me that many others had. And if this sacrifice brings even one life to Christ, it is all worth it.
We praised God for those saved lives at George’s funeral. We prayed, praised, and gave God all the glory. We cried, laughed, and buried a piece of each of us that day. George left behind a wife, a daughter, a mother, a father, two sisters, and many friends and family. The community drew closer together as they lined the streets for the funeral procession. Waving flags and signs with his name and call number on it. His military family drove from all over the country to pay their respects as well. It was such a beautiful and humbling experience.
I was ok for a while after the accident. It wasn’t until everything calmed down that I began to feel the intense hurt. Then I shut it down with anything I could. Distractions and busyness. Until God called me to attention. I spent an entire year working on my relationship with Him. And now He has encouraged me to begin writing again. I’m so excited to see where He leads me!
This is not what I do. There are animals to feed, gardens to weed, eggs to collect, a house to look after, children to chase. I do not have time to sit on this couch while my leg heals. BUT apparently, that’s what I am doing anyway.
At first, I was kind of ok with the forced rest I’m on. Then an hour passed and I realized just how long a sitting hour is. It is LONG, and boring, and frustrating.
Having to sit and ask for people to do the things around the house that I normally do is a hard pill for me to swallow. One because I do struggle with control. Two because I should be able to do it, but I can’t. And it drives me insane. However, this time really opens my eyes to the village mentality!
This is one of the busy seasons. We were hoping to get more meat chicks and purchase some meat rabbits. Alot of our ideas are now on hold.
But, I am choosing to try and see what God is working on in me. There is always a reason for the seasons of life that we go through. Instead of sitting here stewing over the things I cannot do, I am choosing today to start celebrating the things I can still do.
I can show more love and attention to my children. I can spend more time in the Word. I can dig deeper in my studies of Jewish culture. I can devote more time for praying for my tribe of people and the chaos in the world. I have the time to sit and let God work on me. Change me. Remove the nasty world from me and replace it with Him.
This couch is a hard spot for me to sit all day long, but I’m determined to turn this around for the glory of God. I mean, He does work all things out for His glory anyway. Might as well bend to His will so its not really painful for me!
So, there is a small update on our life. Everything is running as ‘smoothly’ as possible at the moment. This down time does give me more time to write, so that will be nice for the blog! And probably humorous to all of you. Until next time!
My ankle. Not all the way, just a fracture. But painful none the less. And I injured it in the most silliest way possible. Trying to chase my daughter to wipe my dirty hands on her shirt. Let me explain!
Yesterday, I was sitting outside, writing a blog post to update everyone on our homestead, just enjoying the peaceful day God blessed us with. I spot my horse and decide to bring her an apple to enjoy.
After she messily finishes her apple, my hand is covered in horse slobber and mashed up apple bits. So I turn to my daughter and proceed to taunt and chase her with my nasty hand. Trying to wipe it on her shirt.
Which led to me stepping into a hole, mid sprint/pivot, and hearing a pop then falling to the ground. It was terrible! Of course, my son and daughter run to my rescue. My son drops to his knees and begins praying for my ankle, while my daughter panics and runs around the yard. Poor child did not know how to handle momma in pain.
So I send her to get my mother in law, who lives next door, and we hobble me into the house. A few hours later, I’m splinted up and leaving the hospital wondering how to handle a homestead on crutches?….Thank God for both my momma and my mother in law for tending to me and the kids. It takes a village guys!
Now here I am this morning, watching a storm blow through with my leg propped up. Thank God because now I dont have to water the garden (God had my back there!)
So to everyone out there, life took a crazy turn, but I am not to worried. God has a reason for every thing. This is just another episode of Grace Revival Homestead!
Says my son. I hear this statement most days of the week. Sometimes multiple times a day. It breaks my momma heart, even though I do agree with him. I also wish he had never gotten diabetes, however I refuse to let any of us walk around with a victim mentality. So I turn it around with positivity and an extra low carb snack to ease his pain. He is beginning to be burned out with this season of life, and I don’t blame him. It’s just plain hard.
One day Wyatt asked me why he had gotten diabetes and why God hasn’t healed him yet. Talk about a hit in an already sore spot in my heart. I had asked God these exact questions already. Sometimes in frustration, sometimes just with a sheer curiosity that is common with us humans. But God had never given me an answer…..so i sighed, took a deep breath, said a silent prayer for God to speak through me to my sensitive child then spoke what came to my heart. It was in that instant that God answered my prayer through me. He spoke to my son’s tender heart and it warmed mine right up. Its reminded me that God never leaves us or forsakes us. This disease wasn’t a form of punishment or proof that God wasn’t paying attention to my family. It’s my son’s testimony. Whether God miraculously heals him or it is His will that Wyatt walk out his life with Type one, we dont know. But we do know that God is still good and He still loves us. He has been here with us comforting us the entire time.
So if you find yourself walking through a battle that seems endless, just know that God is with you. He will never forsake you. He loves you and He will walk through the fire beside you. The anchor holds, in spite of the storm!
Yesterdays prayer was so refreshing that I absolutely cannot wait to put up todays! This time we are going to be praying about health, mainly because my son’s sugar has been super high all morning. I need this prayer at this moment and hopefully you’ll find something valuable from it as well.
By His Stripes We Are Healed
Dear Heavenly Daddy,
Thank you for this beautiful but slightly flooded day in Louisiana. We appreciate Your kindness and love so much! Your grace and mercy far exceeds our limited way of thinking. Lord, I pray for divine healing today. We have been struggling to be a makeshift pancreas for my son lately. His blood sugar continues to be untamable and its frustrating to say the least. I pray that you step in and take control. I proclaim healing in his body and for all of his organs. I proclaim healing over every family that comes across this post. I pray for peace during sickness and for comfort. Relieve pain in joints and nerves. I rebuke cancer and all diseases that attack your children.
I pray for peace for the families that have sick children. Wrap these people in your loving embrace. Lord, for people that are hearing diagnosis’s for the first time, relieve their stress and fear. Your perfect love cast out all fear and we are standing on that promise right now. Send them people to support them and help hold their arms up like Aaron and Hur did for Moses. Teach them how to praise you in the storms of life. Don’t allow the enemy to use these devastating diseases to draw them away from Your love and comfort. I am standing in the gap today for families that are so overwhelmed that they cannot reach out to You. Lord protect them and wrap them in Your love.
Thank You Lord. Thank You for doctors with Your wisdom and for counselors that are willing to hear us out when we feel buried under our emotions. Thank You for supplying all of our needs before we even realize we are lacking. You are Jehovah Jireh! We love you so much!
For the last few weeks, we have really been struggling to keep my sons sugar in a “good” zone. First we struggled at night. He would drop 6-7 times a night, every night. Talk about me being a zombie for days on end. I was EXHAUSTED! Now that we have it almost under control at night, it is unsteady during the day! Meals that he has ate the entire time he has been diagnosed now send him to a shockingly high number. When just last week that exact same meal to insulin ratio sent him plummeting to an all time low. Let me just say that type 1 diabetes is frustrating and exhausting and just defeating sometimes.
#HONEYMOON PHASE
My son is currently in the honeymoon phase of T1D. Now, don’t get confused here, there is nothing fun about this honeymoon. It means that his pancreas still sometimes produces insulin. So he eats, we dose his insulin for the food, and BAM his pancreas works right and also gives him insulin. So we find him plummeting very quickly and having him shot gun apple juice…..insane right?! Then there are times that his pancreas doesn’t work at all, like today. So he ate the same breakfast that he has ate all week, but today, his insulin does nothing for him. He skyrockets to a very scary number and all we can do is dose him again and wait the two hour window for his medicine to take affect. Type one diabetes is stupid.
ITS ALL A WAITING GAME TO THE COMPLETE DEATH…
of his pancreas, that is. So, we sit and wait on his pancreas to fully die out. Hoping the day comes sooner rather than later. Living in this Russian roulette of insulin or not is really hard for his little 8 year old body to take. And it breaks my momma heart to pieces to watch him suffer like he does. Plus living with the stress of unknown long term effects of his sugar roller coasters. I’m not saying it will get better once that day comes, but I can hope that maybe, just maybe, it’ll be a little smoother.
If you know someone with T1D or have any tips or tricks of the trade, please send some my way! I’ll take all the help God brings to me!
Seasons of Grace 